One-Minute Melee: Dingodile VS The Pyro
by Orange Ratchet
Summary: Dingodile has been tasked by Dr. Neo Cortex to search for a Power Crystal located in a world known as Snowplow before Crash Bandicoot does. However, upon finding the Power Crystal, he meets a person more interested in fire than himself, the Pyro, who isn't in his right mind. Which pyromaniac will come out on top? Based off Hyper Gauge/Hyun's Dojo's One-Minute Melees!


DISCLAIMER TIME! I don't own Crash Bandicoot, which belongs to Activision, or Team Fortress 2, which belongs to Valve! Any other shows, games or other forms of media that are mentioned belongs to their respective creators! I also don't own the concept of 1 Minute Melee, which belongs to Hyper Gauge!

Time to bring in a brand new One-Minute Melee! Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

 **1 Minute Melee!  
With the fighting going on, who needs more time?  
Two fighters! Sixty seconds! One victor!**

 ** _GO!_**

* * *

 **(Father's Headquarters)**

Inside the monitor rooms, Father was sighing as he was looking around the monitors to see what fights were occurring. Sure, he caught four of the pesky Sector V members, and had them trapped along with the other fighters that he had collected so far, but he gave a groan. It just wasn't enough! He needed more fighters, way more than he thought.

Father sighed as he looked down at the list of names that were provided from the previous 'generations'. "Let's see... I've caught a good amount so far, but I don't have ALL the generations. This Feudal Japan business is alluding me, and I've yet to capture the ones in space. Hmmm... I still need to travel to that other universe with the OTHER set of heroes, so..."

"Yo, Father!"

Father sighed as he swiveled his chair over to see King Dedede and Dr. Robotnik just sitting down, this time, both of them carrying two unconscious people, one a blonde haired boy, and the other a brown haired girl. King Dedede nodded as he held up Lucas. "We got both those psychics you asked for. Should we put them in the dungeon with the others we've been collecting?"

Father sighed. "Just as well... that would be two fighters from the previous generations off my list."

"Perfect!" Dr. Robotnik smiled as he held up the unconscious Lili Zanotto. "I'm just surprised they didn't see us coming. I mean, if you're psychic, you have to SEE an incoming invasion!"

"And let me tell you, when they DID see us coming, they put up quite a fight!" King Dedede complained. "Fortunately, thanks to my hammering skills, I managed to clobber the two of them!"

Robotnik blinked, before turning to the penguin. "Excuse me, you dumb bird, but I believe that it was MY genius and skills of machinery that usurped these two human kids!"

King Dedede's eyes widened as he turned to the fat scientist, frowning. "Well, it was MY hammer that clobbered them both!"

"Gentlemen, gentlemen, PLEASE... no more arguing... I have a bit of a headache." Father groaned. "Look, I know we're currently still in planning, but these next few people we need to get are from worlds we can't reach! So I think it's only reasonable for now we move base."

"How do you plan on doing that?" King Dedede asked.

"Simple. I already have my children doing some of the work for me." Father smirked.

"That's another thing I want to ask. WHY do you need all these people in your dungeons? It seems to me that you have more than enough to do whatever it is you're going to do!" King Dedede frowned.

Father sighed. "Look, I told you that there has been a huge power source in this world and others, only activated in a generation, right?"

"We have no idea what you're saying!" Dr. Robotnik frowned.

Father shook his head. "I didn't notice it at first, but when I was looking around one day for potential Kids Next Door agents prowling around, I pushed a random button and it stopped at this place."

Father turned and pushed a button that showed a screen that depicted the Flower Garden of Hope. Dedede and Robotnik looked unamused as Dedede asked, "What does a simple flower garden have to do with power?"

"It struck me as particularly odd as well... but I started to remember something I've read in a book, from a long time ago..." Father explained as he got up and pulled out a book and started flipping through it until he found the page. "Here it is. According to this book, that beautiful garden you see on that monitor, is called the Flower Garden of Hope. But it's known better for its' Indian name, the 'Akecheta Field'."

Dedede and Robotnik raised an eyebrow in confusion as Father nodded. "You see, several eons ago, back in the 1800s when Americans were still colonizing the place, and the rush for gold was on everybody's minds, there were still a good number of Indian tribes on the western side of the coast. And this field was where the Akecheta were living in peace, occasionally having a good rumble, but they were mostly a peaceful tribe lest they get crossed. Well, it wasn't until that time when the chief of the Akecheta had decided to place a curse upon the land because intruders kept interrupting good natured rumbles. However, the chief didn't realize that by cursing the land and the people, he would curse the entire world, all because one fight broke out between one Akecheta princess and the wife of a gold miner."

Dedede and Robotnik looked a little doubtful as Father said, "I know there are some doubts, but there's more. It didn't only affect our world, but it also affected worlds beyond our reach. Of course, most of it was very limited then, but at these times, we did have some certain authors writing books or articles... keep in mind TV and that wasn't invented at that time... but the point is, these fights between dimensions happened because of that one starting point... the fight between the Akecheta princess and the gold miner's wife. So, the chief did what was best and said a magical enchantment that banished all hostility in the field... where a few flowers had grown. But there is a legend saying that should any of these flowers be disturbed during a ruckus, the will to fight will awaken, hostile or otherwise, IF a person has locked eyes with another person that have nothing to do with one another."

"So you're telling us that these forms of power are formed because of this Indian tribe's influence?" Robotnik asked.

"That is one theory." Father nodded. "There is also another way for the curse to be reversed, but I don't want to say anything about that in case anybody got any ideas."

"Do you have any idea about WHO was the cause of the release of the fighter's spirits?" Dedede asked.

Father shook his head. "I'm afraid not. Like I said, I only caught on when I spotted the same source of energy coming from within these two."

Father pushed a couple buttons as Dedede and Robotnik blinked in confusion. On one monitor showed an orange ottsel wearing pants, holding a karate pose in a city like world. The second monitor showed the dungeons, where a certain white lagomorph was banging his head against the cell, with everyone watching. Dedede frowned. "An ottsel and a rabbit?"

Father nodded. "They may not seem like it at first, but these two are very formidable foes. My Delightful Children were hanging out in a Sidekicks' Convention one day, and when they did the fight, I noticed that both the ottsel and the rabbit had the same power source that was radiating from the Flower Garden of Hope. They may not have been the original fight, but I think I had a good idea as to where to start."

"But... what about the other people from other worlds?" Dedede asked.

"Well, I can reach most, but not all worlds. Your worlds just happened to be closer to mine." Father frowned. "HOWEVER... with the fighters of the previous generations we've been collecting, we have a bit more sources to reach BEYOND our worlds... maybe even GALAXIES AND TIMELINES! AND PRETTY SOON, I WILL BE ABLE TO REIGN TRIUMPHANT, EVEN AGAINST THOSE MEASLEY KIDS NEXT DOOR!"

Father started to burn up in flames as he started laughing evilly. King Dedede and Robotnik blinked as King Dedede said, "Er... you mean, WE will triumph?"

The fire fizzled out as Father blinked... then sighed. "Oh, right. I guess so..."

Before Father could say another word, he noticed a button flashing as his eyes widened. "Hold that thought! We have a couple new fights going on! Dedede, Robotnik, get those prisoners to the dungeons, then bring them back here... we're going to have our last few to power up our expansion!"

Dedede and Robotnik nodded as they started to drag Lucas and Lili off as Father turned back to the monitors. He smirked as he pushed a button, showing four fighters on four different monitors. He smirked as he nodded. "Let the final stages of my plan commence..."

* * *

 **(Snowplow)**

It was a quiet night in the town of Snowplow. The trains have stopped work for the night, and the RED and BLU teams weren't attacking each other (for now) as they were currently in hiding, some of them keeping an eye out. Little did anyone know was that near the small train station in the area, a dingo/crocodile hybrid holding a tank behind his back attached to a flamethrower was walking along, looking around.

The dingo/crocodile hybrid, known as Dingodile, was groaning and rubbing his head. "Oy, mates. Ya think Cortex would give some of his lackeys a break..."

Dingodile looked a bit disgruntled today. Ever since Dr. Cortex had discovered that there were power crystals littered in different dimensions, he had told the lackeys he had summoned to get all the crystals before Crash Bandicoot caught wind of his schemes (as he always does).

"It's bad enough he had to tell us off for the last time tha' bandicoot thrashed us." Dingodile muttered. "But with that crazy blue explosive experiment of his gone, now he's expecting us to double our efforts! Ah don't get paid enough for this... if at all..."

It was then Dingodile stopped as he spotted something glittering in the corner. Dingodile smirked as he turned the corner. Dingodile gave a big toothy grin to see that there was a power crystal right there... but as Dingodile started to approach, he heard some snoring. Dingodile blinked as his eyes then widened, noticing who was holding the power crystal.

It was a person in red clothing, wearing a gas mask over his face as he seemed to be holding the power crystal, as if holding it like a teddy bear. The masked man, known as the Pyro, started to mumble in his sleep. Dingodile gulped nervously as he started to approach the sleeping Pyro carefully. He tip-toed as best as he could until he reached the sleeping Pyro.

Carefully, Dingodile gripped the crystal and slowly started to slide it out of the Pyro's hands. Dingodile gave a nod as he smiled, holding the power crystal in triumph... that is, until the sleeping Pyro had grabbed Dingodile's tail, and was now snuggling with it.

Dingodile noticed as he gave a frown, not liking the difficulty he was having with this. He tried to pull his tail out of the sleeping Pyro's grasp, but it had proven to be unsuccessful. Dingodile snorted a bit as he tried to walk, but the Pyro could only grasp his tail further. Unfortunately, by gripping his tail tighter, Dingodile squealed like a pig so hard... that it woke the Pyro straight up from his nap.

The Pyro looked around in confusion until he spotted Dingodile holding the crystal in his hand. In the Pyro's odd mind, he saw the weird dingo-crocodile creature as a fairy princess with a magic wand giving a giggle as the Pyro was giving a laugh.

In reality, Dingodile jumped as the Pyro let out a large scream as he pulled out his flamethrower.

"Geez, mate, give a guy a warnin' next time." Dingodile said before noticing that the Pyro was arming himself. Dingodile groaned. "Oh, Ah don't have time for..."

The Pyro shot a burst of flame from his own flamethrower as he gave a mumble. Dingodile could only shake his head as he threw the power crystal aside and grabbed on to the nozzle of his flamethrower. "Okay mate... Ah don't know what is going through ya minds, but ya just pushed ma buttons!"

With that, the Pyro and Dingodile gave each other an intense stare... which, in the Pyro's odd mind, was Dingodile the fairy princess giving a happy smile towards the Pyro as she gave another giggle, holding out her bubble wand as the Pyro smiled back through his mask.

 **TWO FIGHTERS AND THEIR GREAT FLAMING EYEBR- ER, GUNS!  
FIGHT!**

 **(60 Seconds)**

The fight commenced as Dingdodile started shooting fire from his flamethrower right at the Pyro... but the Pyro, seeing the flames coming, started to skip around happily out of the way of the flames. The dingo-crocodile hybrid gave a frown as he aimed his flamethrower up high and started shooting small bursts of fireballs up in the sky, circling around the Pyro.

The Pyro danced around for a bit, as he dodged the first few fireballs, and on the last fireball, the Pyro managed to get burnt a bit, causing the Pyro to yelp in pain (or squeal in delight, in his odd mind). The Pyro then started to muffle a yell as he charged, using his own flamethrower at the dingo-crocodile hybrid. Dingodile's eyes widened as he saw the man in the gas mask coming and ended up with fire in his face.

Dingodile started to shake the soot off of his face as he gave a glare towards the Pyro. He jumped back up as he switched a dial on the tank on his back.

 **(50 Seconds)**

The human in the gas mask quickly jumped behind Dingodile and pulled out a longer flamethrower as the Pyro shot the dingo-crocodile hybrid in the back. He mumbled something from the gas mask, which sounded sort of like laughter. Dingodile quickly turned towards the Pyro and aimed towards the man as he started to shoot missiles from his flamethrower gun.

The Pyro, seeing the missiles coming, quickly pulled out what seemed to be a fireman's axe. In the Pyro's odd mind, he seemed to be holding a tennis racquet, and Dingodile the fairy princess was throwing tennis balls. As the Pyro hit the tennis balls with his racquet, in reality, he was using the axe to slice away at the fired missiles. After that was done, the Pyro started charging straight at Dingodile with the axe and started to swing it around towards the dingo-crocodile hybrid.

Dingodile's eyes widened as he used the nozzle in his flamethrower to defend himself. Fortunately, the axe deflected from the nozzle of Dingodile's flamethrower as the Pyro started shaking like jelly. Dingodile used this opportunity to switch back to flames as he charged up his gun again. By the time the Pyro recovered, Dingodile had shot out a giant wall of fire as he started to move around in a circle.

The Pyro, in his odd mind, saw the giant wall of fire as a wall of cheese that was shot from the wand of Dingodile the fairy princess. In his excited mind, he jumped towards the wall of cheese. Dingodile's eyes widened in shock as in reality, the Pyro had jumped into the wall of fire and was now on fire.

 **(40 Seconds)**

The Pyro mumbled as he skipped around, fire burning on him. Dingodile frowned as he turned the dial, muttering, "If you can stand fire... maybe you're allergic to water!"

Dingodile gave a quick nod as he aimed his nozzle and shot spurts of water towards the gas mask wearing man. The shots of water then hit the Pyro directly as the Pyro screamed in shock. In the Pyro's odd mind, he saw Dingodile the fairy princess using her wand to shoot fire at the Pyro, which made him scream in pain. The Pyro then turned menacingly towards Dingodile as he pulled out his fireman's axe again. The Pyro screamed through his mask, charging towards Dingodile.

Dingodile, seeing him coming, picked up a barrel and threw it towards the Pyro as the Pyro yelped, rubbing his head. Dingodile then ran over and spun, using his tail to trip up the Pyro. As soon as the Pyro was on the ground, Dingodile decided to take the opportunity to kick the Pyro down.

The Pyro groaned as he was down for a moment, but quickly got up, surprising Dingodile as the Pyro pulled out what seemed to be a taped up wrench.

 **(30 Seconds)**

The Pyro then started to beat Dingodile up with the wrench as Dingodile started grunting and squealing like a pig. The Pyro then sent Dingodile flying up in the air as the Pyro quickly pulled out his flamethrower.

The gas mask wearing man aimed his flamethrower up in the sky as Dingodile looked down. Quickly, Dingodile reached behind his back to adjust his flamethrower setting back to fire as he quickly aimed his nozzle down and shot the ground, causing Dingodile to hover in the air for a moment before landing safely. Dingodile then stomped the floor as he was now surrounded by fire, giving the Pyro a smirk.

The Pyro gave a mumble and a cock of his head as he started running around with a giant rake. The Pyro started to charge towards the standing dingo-crocodile hybrid as he was aiming his flamethrower at the right moment.

 **(20 Seconds)**

As soon as the Pyro came close, Dingodile let loose with a burst of fire, making the Pyro back away a bit in fear... before recovering and coming back with the rake, whacking Dingodile on the head with it. Dingodile yelped as he stumbled out of the ring of fire he was in and out into the open.

Dingodile recovered as the Pyro pulled out another flamethrower and shot Dingodile in the face with it. As soon as the flames cleared, Dingodile was covered in soot, which he shook off pretty easily, though he seemed a bit more fatigued. The dingo-crocodile hybrid looked towards the gas-mask wearing man as he pulled out the rake again and charged straight towards him.

 **(10 Seconds)**

Dingodile reached for the nozzle of his flamethrower, but before he could do anything, the Pyro started to slam Dingodile down with the rake, knocking him down as the dingo-crocodile hybrid groaned, turning around. Seeing an opportunity, the Pyro struck the flamethrower canister that Dingodile had on his back, causing some holes to pop out.

Dingodile yelped as he looked towards his backpack as it started making noise.

 **(5...)**

Dingodile was trying his best to get the backpack off of him, but the Pyro grabbed a wrench and slapped them.

 **(4...)**

The canister started to bubble up and expand.

 **(3...)**

In the Pyro's mind, he noticed Dingodile the fairy princess's wings growing bigger, as if ready to explode.

 **(2...)**

In reality, the Pyro grabbed Dingodile and his backpack, attempting to get it off...

 **(1...)**

 **KABOOM!**

A giant explosion covered the entire room as the house the Pyro was sleeping in started to fall apart. As soon as the dust cleared, the Pyro and Dingodile were seen covered in soot in shock... but not before Dingodile fell down and groaned, falling unconscious.

 _ **KO!**_

The Pyro looked towards Dingodile's unconscious body for a moment as, in his mind, he only saw Dingodile the fairy princess calming down and taking a small nap, clearly exhausted.

The Pyro didn't blame the fairy princess. After all that fun he had with her, he felt like taking a snooze. So he laid down atop the fairy princess' stomach and started catching some Zs.

In reality, the gas mask wearing man was sleeping atop an unconscious Dingodile as an orange bandicoot wearing pants was walking past and found the two like this. Crash Bandicoot scratched his head, looking at this odd scene, not knowing what had just occured... but not before spotting the floating purple Power Crystal nearby. Crash laughed as he grabbed the crystal and started to run on, hopefully to find a gem along the way...

Unknown to the bandicoot, a security camera that activated nearby shot a laser and took both the unconscious Dingodile and the sleeping Pyro with them...

Once again, Father had just claimed two more victims...

 **This melee's winner is...**

 _ **THE PYRO**_

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 ** _NEXT TIME, ON SEASON 4 OF ONE MINUTE MELEE..._**

 _ **These manliest of men have no problem boasting, but they also have no problem putting up a good fight!**_

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And that's this episode of One-Minute Melee! How'd you guys like it? Do you have any criticisms or good comments to say? Leave it in your reviews! Also, if you have any suggestions for One-Minute Melees, please leave it in your reviews, PMs, or if you're on Deviantart and you've seen them on my profile, comment a One-Minute Melee you'd like to see! Maybe I'll put it in my next season! Anyway, thank you all for reading this, have a great day!


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